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In my hut this spring,

There is nothing –

There is everything!

/Haiku, Jamaguchi Sodo/

Soft steps on the carpet, breathing, swallowing saliva, birds chirping, rain knocking on the window. I hear it when I sit down in meditation. My thoughts flow like boats on a rough ocean. Silence slowly measure an existence.

Recently I participated in the “Centering Prayer Silent Retreat” which was at ESKER monastery, near Athenry, a small town in County Galway in Ireland. This monastery is located in the country side among forests and hills. Despite directions of google maps, it was hard to get there first time. Fortunately, as usually in Ireland, we met people who decided to let us down straight to the gate.

Centering Prayer – is a method of meditation used by Christians focused on interior silence. Developed by Fr. Thomas Keating.

Thirty people participated in this retreat. There were people from different places in Ireland. Several time a day we sat next to each other in contemplation, ate meals together, rested in armchairs, passed each other in the corridors, or on a walk in the garden. All the time we were in silence, just sometimes sending little smiles.

It was not easy to have so much free time in silence, away from the glowing phone screens. Heavy rain was coming outside, so it was not always possible to sit in the garden. Although short walks even in the rain seemed really beautiful. However, you had to find a place inside yourself.

– I used to find silence awkward. Here I found that silence is me – so told us one of the participants.

Our common contemplation lasted even eighty minutes. The sound of the singing bowl started each session. Then we sat down for twenty minutes with eyes closed. Later the bowl called us again and we started walking around with tiny steps, contemplating almost every movement and whisper. Next we sat down again for twenty minutes.

Each time you are a beginner

Though a year ago I was meditating quite regularly. It was not easy for me to return. Because when you sit down for meditation or contemplation or prayer in deep silence, in your existence, in God, in the present. Each time you learn again.

Sitting in silence without movement is one of the most difficult things in life

You can sit on a chair or on a cushion with your back straight and try to breathe steadily. More than once you will like to finally break this ubiquitous silence around and talkative thoughts in your head. But you can come back to your sacred word in your mind. It can be a word related to your religion like for example: Kyrie, Maranatha, Amen or something completely different: joy, peace, yes, river. When you come back to your sacred word it will give you a focus between thousand thoughts.

It is also important not to think about a word, which you chosen, but treat it like an anchor, which don’t let you flow behind thoughts far. 

Centering Prayer and meditation in the silence can connect people from different religions or people, who don’t believe in God. Because you exist side by side in the ordinary present.

I liked be in silence from my childhood, actually. I never wonder why

I started my adventure with meditation at the Dominican monastery in Wrocław, Poland. When I moved to Galway I was regret to leave those meetings. Although that time it seemed that I was losing it I found it again, where I live. I met groups of people, who feel the same.

Thanks to meditation I get to know my darkness better and I start to look more tolerance at others and everything around me. It is a continuous process that brings me closer to myself but also to God, who speak by silence. This is always walk away and return.

When I came to ESKER I was tired after the everyday run through life. And this “Silent Retreat” stopped me and refresh my memory.  Since I came back I try to sit down in the silence every morning and sometimes evening, again and it is still not easy. My cat sits on my knees as well, so I can’t move. I maditate.

Outside the window, the whirr of cars mixes with the whistling of the wind. And I try to be not in rush.

In my hut this spring,

There is nothing –

There is everything!

/Haiku by Yamaguchi Sodo/

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